Sunday, 19 October 2014

Humorous Paranormal is always a must read!



Bad-ass warriors, lots of supernatural creatures, a good sense of humor and romance.

Those are some of the elements you can find in Stephanie Rowe’s books.

Let’s start with the Soulfire series, which is not that well known…. Warriors trapped for over a century in a realm created by Angelica (Death’s grandmother), who is trying to condition men just the way she thinks a woman would need them!

“If we return, she’ll hand him over to us, but all that shit will start right back up.” He held up his hand. “Granted, I appreciate the man I’ve become as a result of life’s little challenges, but I’m really done with the prisoner/torture/emasculation crap.”

BIG FAILURE on her part, since they escape and try to take her and her establishment down.

Using a Black Widow, which she created.

“Don’t hit me.”
“Then don’t be a bastard.”
“Me? You left.”
“I came back! You’re the one person who has seen me as remotely good, and then you took it back! I’m the good person! You’re the jerk!”

Whose best friend works for Death. 

“Your surprises scare me. You remember when you invited Death to be a stripper at my twenty-first birthday, and my mom thought he’d come to take me?” She rolled her eyes. “I had no idea my mom could throw a baseball that hard. She actually knocked him out.”

And who falls in love with one of the warriors.

Trinity was up against the ceiling, broken chains dangling from her wrists and ankles. Her hair was gray and white, spraying out from her head at all angles, so tangled they made Nigel’s muddy locks look like an ad for the Silk Protein Gloss they all used. Her eyes were black, her lips matched, and her fingers were curled in a fist that reminded him of the schnoodies’ claws.
“Hot damn,” he whispered, not bothering to hide his awe. It was the first time he’d seen her since he’d realized she loved him. “She’s even more beautiful than I remembered.” He could barely breathe, he was so overwhelmed by her sheer magnificence. “I should have brought her roses. Two dozen. Long-stemmed.”
Jarvis smacked him in the head with his palm. “Get your shit together, Trio. That’s no sweet girlfriend up there. That’s one bat-shit-crazy-killer.”
Blaine shoved Jarvis into the wall without taking his eyes off Trinity. “Hey, sweetheart,” he called. “You look fantastic. Love the hair.”
She saw Blaine and shrieked again. A prism flared to life in front of him and the hologram slammed a holographic icicle into his eye. It melted instantly upon contact, and his spectral image fell straight to the ground.
“She’s a persistent little thing, isn’t she?” Nigel said. “That’s true love right there, you lucky sod.”
“I know.” Blaine grinned. “Hello, my dear.”
A large, dripping icicle appeared in Trinity’s hand and she screamed again.

Did I mention that the Black Widow constantly tries to kill the man she loves????

 “I really did kill you.”
“No.” Blaine caught her wrist and yanked her toward him. “No more of this self-revulsion. We’ll carry a box of matches around with us. I’m good.”
Tears filled her eyes. “You don’t blame me?”
“Hell, no.” He cupped her face. “It just shows me how much you love me. Nothing less than you turning the curse on me would’ve convinced me that you love me. Each time I melt, it’s a reminder to me that I can trust you.”
An icicle suddenly flared in her hands, and he zapped it with a grin. “I love that kind of immediate feedback when I say things that make you get all warm and gooey for me.”
“But I’m cursed. I can’t even go out into public without worrying that I might kill a man and—”
“Not anymore.” He laughed softly and kissed the tears off her cheeks. “The curse won’t haunt you anymore. You love me, and you won’t love anyone else. Every male in this world is safe from you—” He raised his brows. “Unless you’re the type to love more than one guy at a time?”
She shook her head, fragile hope etched onto her face. “No, of course not—”
“Then it’s perfect.” He pulled her onto his lap. “I’m an emotionally damaged male who has trouble believing in women. Every time I melt, it’ll be like an anvil to the head reminding me there’s no way I can deny that you love me, and whenever you go all ice pick on me, it’s giving me that positive reinforcement that you still love me.”

Enough said… While I am simply teasing you with scenes from the first book, Kiss at your own risk, this is a trilogy (for the time being), which features the adventures of the rest of the warriors.
 That is if you like your supernatural, with a bit of a laugh…..

If you want to laugh your socks off, then you get the Immortally Sexy series!!!

The Goblet of Eternal Youth, a 200 year old Guardian,

Two hundred years at the same job is at least one hundred and ninety too many. Especially when it sucks.

 Forced to celibacy,

"I'm not allowed to have sex. Guardian Oath thing."

Trying to work around it,

"If having sex with you was necessary for me to protect Mona, I don't think it would violate my Oath."
A slow grin spread over his face. "I have many secrets that I'll spill only in the heat of orgasm. As a good Guardian, it's your duty to find them all out. After all, that's why I'm propositioning you. To distract you so you accidentally tell me everything I need to know."
Her fingers dug into his chest on their own, laughing at her complete inability to stop them. "Then for the sake of Mona, I guess I'd better sacrifice myself." She felt hot, the room was spinning. She took a deep breath and lifted her chin. "But in the interest of being able to concentrate on the interrogation, I think we should agree that there will be no assassination attempts until we are both satisfied… that we've gotten all the info we need."

 with a dragon as a best friend

"You die now, bitch."
A black image suddenly rose from the floor between them. "Calling a slayer's girlfriend nasty names is never a good idea."
Her mouth dropped open in horror. "Zeke?"
The image took the shape of Zeke, and he was facing Lyman. Becca shimmered briefly, then disappeared back through the floor. Zeke glanced back at Theresa, his eyes widening with shock. "T?"
She waved a claw, steeling herself for his rejection. "I'm a dragon again. For good."
He gave her a careful inspection. "You look good as a dragon. I like the bluish-green scales. Tail ring. Very sexy."
A slow warmth spread over her. "But I'm a dragon."
"I noticed."

and a (hot) man trying to kill her!

Oh, so that's how it was? Try to lull her into submission with his manly appeal and then take her out? Not so fast. She was a Guardian first and a woman second, and he was so going down. But damn, he smelled good.

Did I mention Satan wants her dead mom???

Apparently, Satan has spent the last two hundred years trying to get access to me."
Justine shivered at the mention of the leader of the Underworld. "Why? Why would Satan want you?"
"What kind of access does Satan want? Wooing, dating, shagging, that kind of thing?" Theresa asked, then let out a low whistle when Iris nodded.
Oh. Justine was starting to feel sick. "Satan wants to… have sex with you?"
"He also wants me to be the queen of his domain."
"What?"
Iris nodded. "After submitting seventy-eight unsuccessful petitions, he finally picked the right Afterlife official to bribe. As of now, they are officially considering his petition to have me expedited to hell."

Who happens to be a very handsome man,

“He was the drop-dead sexiest hunk of beefcake she'd ever seen, and he knew she thought so. Contemptible pig.”

(even her daughter believes so…)

Satan was drop-dead gorgeous, no pun intended. At least six four, broad shoulders, dark hair, penetrating eyes, and a jawline to die for. No wonder her mom had sex fantasies about him. How could she have resisted Satan's full-court press for so long? Impressive.

A very good lover,

If she tried another assault, he'd grab the gun, his hands would slip onto her breasts and her body would betray her and they'd wind up in a gyrating pile on the linoleum.

And who actually cares about her, in his own unique way!!!

"If you were sad, you would not want to have sex for many, many centuries. That is not something I can afford. A true man can go only so long without sex."

Four books, in the series, equally humorous and with a healthy dose of twists and turns to keep us asking for more!!!!

And of course Stephanie Rowe’s most known pnr series is her Order Of The Blade series.
Calydons are fierce men with amazing fighting skills, but susceptible to their sheva destiny.

“Every Calydon warrior has a sheva. She’s the woman who will call to his soul, and he to hers, until they fall so completely in love that the world revolves only around each other.”
“That destiny commands that he will lose his woman, and it will drive him so mad with anger and rage and loss that he will turn on those he used to protect and save, destroying all those he cared about.”
“Once a Calydon goes rogue, his sheva will kill him to stop him, destroying the man she loves more than the world. His death will ruin her and she’ll also die, a brutal, soul-wrenching death, forever haunted by the truth that she killed the one man who made her whole. But before they both die, if destiny is allowed to play out, he will kill every innocent in his life, even his own children, his neighbors, his friends...everyone. Unless the Order reaches them first and kills one or both of them, depending on how far gone the situation is.”

Of course not everyone is willing to believe in it….

He stared after her, a slow grin rising on his face. Hot damn. She really thought the sheva destiny was crap. If there was a woman he could have picked to get bonded with, it was a woman who refused to accept it, a woman who would fight their fate every step of the way. Of course, others had tried. Shit, he’d seen Calydons and their women bleed their hearts dry trying to stop the hell coming for them, and no one had made it. Not a damn one.
“I have things to do, dammit,” she muttered as she yanked her foot out of a deep pocket of mud. “I don’t have time for this shit. Destiny my ass.”
Hell. Even her swearing made him hot. He started walking behind her, his amusement fading. No matter how resistant they both were to their destiny, neither of them had time to deal with it. Not right now. Not with the lives of so many people at stake.
He had time only to go after Elijah, not to throw Grace down, rip her clothes off, and cement their bond until they were both too exhausted to move…though hell, he liked that idea. Too damn much, actually. He grimly watched the tempting sway of her hips as she slogged across the wet ground. “Trust me, I have no interest in falling in love with you either, but if you don’t stop swearing, I’m going to tackle you and take you right here in the mud.”

But when sensuality hits them,

“What’s your wildest sex fantasy?”
She snorted. “Sex that was decent would be a good start.” Embarrassment flooded her cheeks at the accidental over-sharing of information. “I mean, it’s not like I’m bad at it or anything—”
“Hey.” Quinn leaned down and grazed his teeth over her earlobe. “I’ve kissed you, Grace Matthews. I’ve tasted your lips and breathed your passion. Trust me when I tell you if you’ve had unsatisfactory sex in the past, the problem wasn’t you.” His voice was low, laced with sensual teasing. “You’ve simply been with the wrong men, sweetheart.”
His body was so hot against her, his quads taut where he straddled her hips, making her body ache with awareness. “And you’d be the right man?” It had gone way past sexual banter now. Her whole body was vibrating with desire, and she was vividly aware of the way his body was so intimately pressed against hers from chest to calf.
He bit the side of her neck with a playful snarl. “I’d rock your world.”
Laughter bubbled out of her, even while the cold mud oozed between her fingers as she pulled herself a little further along. “I can’t believe you just said that. That’s so cliché.”
“Yeah, but I’m right, so who cares?”
  
Things *might* get out of control……

Quinn grunted in annoyance. “I’m a badass immortal warrior, remember? It insults my manhood that you can even doubt me. Clearly I will have to prove my virility to you at a later date to restore my reputation.” (Darkness Awakened)

Of course, humorous moments could not be missing from these books,

“So, we’re hoping that you inherited whatever Caleb had that enabled him to take down Ezekiel in the first place,” Quinn said. “If you didn’t, we’re all screwed. If you did, party at the mansion after you take him out.” (Darkness Surrendered)

At the most *inappropriate* moments….

"What's going on?" Thano Savakis sauntered up to them carrying a peach latte, despite the Order's attempts to get him to switch to a more testosterone-appropriate drink. "Don't tell me the Order finally decided to self-destruct and no one invited the new kid on the block?" He propped his elbow on Ryland's shoulder, completely ignoring the danger of the situation. "Just because I'm not old, cynical and bitter doesn't mean I don't appreciate a good internal feud over a woman. So, tell me, who slept with whose chick? Was it behind the bleachers or in the back of a station wagon?" (Darkness Reborn)

Even  when lives are in danger!!!!

"We've been hunting her for three weeks," Ryland snapped, allowing his true frustration to show. "We're so close. Another day—"
Thano called out his halberd and had it at Ryland's throat. Despite the weakness of his body, his grip was firm, his weapon steady. "Shut the fuck up, asshole. This is about Zach. We're going to that village up ahead to the north, and we're going to get help. You can hunt the woman after we save Zach."  *Shit man, this is great. I've been wanting to pull a weapon on you for years. Can I stab you, too? * He pushed the tip of the halberd against Ryland's throat, pricking the skin.
*You're a pain in the ass.* But Ryland was amused by the irony that the most easy-going guy in the Order was playing the asshole. Thano was actually pretty convincing, which was a little weird. Thano wasn't supposed to have that element to him.
Ryland called out his machete, but before he could level it at Thano in what he hoped was a convincing show of men being stupid-ass men, Zach swore.
"No. Thano's wrong. You're both wrong." Zach stirred, and with a flash of black light and a crack that split the night, he called out his sai and leveled it at Ryland's heart. His eyes were still at half-mast, but Ryland felt the press of his mind as he joined their conversation. *I couldn't miss out on the chance to call a weapon on Ryland. Why should Thano get all the fun?* "Fuck the village," he snarled. "Too many people there know Ryland. We can't risk it. We're turning back, and we're doing it now."

Thankfully, the women in the book know how to take charge, 

He paused at the sudden expression on Catherine's face. The fierce determination, the resistance, the clear and focused visage of a warrior. "What?"
She lifted her chin. "I have three things to say."
He almost grinned at her statement. Her determination and feisty spirit were hot shit. She was no delicate angel, that was for sure. "What are they?" If anyone else had given him that look and that attitude, he would have snarled and considered decapitating them. But with Catherine looking at him like that, all he could do was think she was sexy as hell, and damned brilliant.
She held up her index finger, as if she were speaking to a small child with the inability to grasp the most basic concept. "First, I'm not the Order's guardian angel."
He shrugged impatiently, dismissing her statement. "Like I said, the others didn't realize they were either at first. We'll figure it out when you're safe."
Completely ignoring him, she held up two fingers. "Second, I'm not going back with you."
His good humor vanished. "Of course you are."
She met his gaze, and in her eyes he saw a desperation that made his heart twist. "And third," she said. "You will be my guide into the nether-realm."(Darkness Unleashed)

But also have their breakdowns (which woman doesn’t???).

She tried. She really tried. She thought of ice cream. She sang her favorite song. She pictured the adorable face of a Labrador puppy with its floppy ears. She even envisioned unleashing a contingent of mutant ninjas onto the jungle to track down José while she sat on a tropical beach enjoying a sunny, perfect alibi. In desperation, she even tried to remember what it felt like to put on a pair of pants that used to be too small, but now fit. She thought of everything good she could possibly manufacture, but in the end, nothing worked.
She didn't even make it two blocks before the tears won.

Their men are always there for them, to help them in any way possible,

You're under my protection, and you're free to stab me any time you feel unsafe."
She stared at him, and then another laugh escaped. "Stab you?"
He nodded. "If you get scared, or I trigger a memory for you and you need to strike out to feel safe, it's fine. I can heal. Just do it."
She smiled then, the first real smile she'd felt in so long. "Okay. I promise to stab you whenever I feel the need."

While they put their lives in grave danger,

"Thank you for your help."
She smiled, and again, something softened around her heart. "No," she said. "I'm the one who needs to thank you."
He cocked an eyebrow. "Why is that?"
She grinned at him, suddenly feeling relief she hadn't felt in a very long time, enough relief that she almost felt giddy. "Because the fire god you're after is hunting me. That guy you just attacked? There will be a lot more of them. If you're going to keep me safe, which you promised to do on your family's souls, you're going to be a very, very busy man." She smiled at him, expecting him to look intimidated, or even a little shocked at what he'd just gotten into.

Despite the fact they *might* not be able to successfully defend themselves…..

He'd tried igniting six different plants, and hadn't so much as given them a steam bath, let alone set them aflame. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. The big zero. None of which were going to be much help when they finally faced down José.

But sometimes all you need is a good word (or maybe a crude one) from someone who knows,

"Accept it? Hell, woman, I killed my daughter! You want me to accept that? I killed my daughter and my family, and now Rhiannon and Thano are going to die!" He bellowed the words at her.
"Yes!" she screamed at him. "Let it go! You're a precious and beautiful soul, you big ass! Accept your inner beauty and allow peace and harmony to flow through you! You're worthy of a beautiful life!"
"You're fucking insane!" Zach shouted at her. Behind Jordyn, Eric was grinning like some crazy lunatic. What the hell was wrong with these two?
"I know I am! But I'm also right!" She screamed the last words right in his face. "I killed the man I loved," she yelled at him. "I know about murdering someone you love, but don't let someone else die simply because you're afraid of who you are." ( Darkness Possessed)

In the end, not all of the pairs have resulted via the sheva bond, in an attempt to overpower destiny…. But the words spoken during while the bond takes place are unique!

Mine to you. Yours to me. Bonded by blood, by spirit and by soul, we are one. No distance too far, no enemy too powerful, no sacrifice too great. I will always find you. I will always protect you. No matter what the cost. I am yours as you are mine.

On October 27th, a spin-off from the Order Of The Blade, is coming….
Not QuiteDead (A NightHunter Novel), features Eric and Jordyn which we met in the last book.

Jordyn beamed at Eric. "Thanks. That was nice of you to say."
"I know it was. I'm that kind of guy."

Their chemistry is more than promising!!!

For a moment, Zach didn't move, then their comments registered. He looked over at Eric. "You can see her?"
"I'm not blind, so yeah," Eric said. "But then again, I've got this thing about spirits. They like to talk to me. I'm kind of simpatico with them."
"You, too?" Jordyn sounded surprised. "I'm the same way."
"Really? We should have sex and compare notes."
Jordyn smacked him. "Shut up."

Of course, for those who are not fan of paranormal, Stephanie Rowe has a romantic suspense series called “Alaska Heat” series, a contemporary romance series called “Ever After” series, teen fiction series and a standalone title, and actually a huuuuuge shelve worth reading!!! I know I have and now she is one of the authors whose books I buy without reading the blurb!

About Stephanie Rowe : 


Four-time RITA® Award nominee and Golden Heart® Award winner Stephanie Rowe is a nationally bestselling author of more than thirty books. A life-long reader, she began crafting stories at age ten, but didn't realize it was her dream until she was an adult.
Once the light dawned, she immediately left behind "work" as the world defines it and went to "work" as she defines it, which means getting up every morning with a smile in her heart so she can spend the day doing that which makes her spirit sing.
Stephanie believes in learning to listen to your heart in order to figure out what your dreams are, and then opening yourself to the inspiration that will direct you there. She believes we all deserve the right to enjoy life, and for the ride to be as easy as we want it to be, and that we all should accept nothing less than making our dreams come true.
Stephanie lives in New England, and spends every day doing her best to fill it with people, observations and activities that uplift her soul, which include writing, tennis, friends, and her amazing family.
 

1 comment:

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